To Thine Own Self Be True

Bonjour Fittins and all my Chinese Followers out there. When I was in Los Angeles last week, Courtnie took me to a yoga class. The teacher said something that really stuck with me. Well, the first thing she mentioned was that in that class we were going for quality over quantity. I have blogged previously about that particular ratio and how it pertains to fitness, but still in all respect, true true. But the other thing that she mentioned was for us to make no judgments in our process, yet validate every moment of the experience. Moved, I have referenced that suggestion all week long and it has helped me to get through a couple of tough workouts, crucial internal debates with myself at the bar over whether or not I will have a drink, and emotionally debilitating days like yesterday, which I finally reserved as a mental health day. Yes, I gave myself a mental health day. I worked out first (I wasn't going Completely crazy) I had lunch and sample-adventures at Whole Foods just like the good old days, and I allowed myself to go there. You know, There. All the way to the place where it is dark and where Fear resides and sadness and anxiety. I hadn't been to that place in such a long time, but that is where I was and I did not deny it. In fact, I took my time there, did my business if you will, drove all the way home There, and once at home, finally went to sleep from mental and emotional exhaustion. While asleep, I had a dream. And in my dream I was back at Whole Foods, the place where my mind started to rummage around looking for this There place to sprawl out and spew. I was back There in my dream, in the exact place yet it was different. This time my aunt was there and she sweetly reminded me that I had a cupcake in the fridge waiting for me. Indeed, I did have a real cupcake waiting for me in my waken world and when I awoke, I went to the kitchen and ate the cupcake that I had been saving for 5 days now, and the spell was officially broken.

In becoming my best, striving for optimum and challenging myself, I have not always been truthful with myself. I haven't even lent an ear to myself so that I could be a good friend to myself and let myself vent to myself. But today I took the time and I listened and it was hard and painful in moments. I said some things I didn't really mean but needed to feel, and I heard some concerns that I had not fully validated but rather swept conveniently under my datebook to tend to later or will into non-existence..? My beloved Fittins (and Chinese followers), Allow your selves room to experience the Experience. Lend an ear to your self and be honest about your current and continue to be honest about your future. My mental health day showed me that I need to check in more mentally, to make sure my mental fitness is getting the adequate process that my physical now demands. My mental health day also reiterated that it is time for a cleanse. (one of the mental and physical things I have been sweeping around for a while now.) I am ready for it too. Who will join me? I think the 23rd is a perfect day; that's when school starts.

Yes, I THInk I Love MY Body

I feel really good today. Since last time, I bought 2 Gallons of Pure Aloe Vera Juice and I have been drinking it everyday with Apple juice, or lime juice, or plain. Not only is it a tissue rejuvenator, not only is it ultra soothing to my vocal chords, but my intestinal track is getting a pampering that it never dreamt of receiving. Not to mention my skin is getting some much needed internal hydrating as well. My Green tea made a comeback this week also. Good to see you again, Green Tea. Time, my personal trainer, ripped me a new one this pass week! For most of the week I trained outside and concentrated on cardio. I have had so much stress lately that I was honestly waiting for tomorrow to get here just so I could go and run it out. The mental training and discipline required to take you to the next level in the game is really what the arduous repetitions are about. I jogged so many laps by Wednesday, I was proud of my heart and lungs by Thursday, AND my legs,... for all having my back :O) On Friday, we just lifted weights, mostly arms -triceps and biceps, and some legs, quads. Then we sealed the deal with ab work. I told Time, " I'll be so sore this weekend, I won't be able to pick up the fork to cheat if I tried!"
He said that was the point. And I know it is a basic concept, but I am just now understanding that my body runs directly on what I feed it. It's not like my psychy or my emotions or ME, affected by my environment, influenced by other external sensory experiences that can help me grow and mature. No, we feed our bodies the fuel to make it run. We run our bodies to maintain the mechanical integrity of the model, and if it needs a tune up, then we will definitely feel it because this body is our vehicle. It is what we are given ONE time and ... understanding that now, I appreciate how my body has been here for me throughout the years when I have been highly abusive to it at times. But looking forward, me and my body are working on us, our communication, our trust and provisions for each other. Our love. That's it. I think I love my body. Yes! I do. And I want her to be happy. She deserves it.

This week, I know I must push myself a little further in my runs, dipper digs, further extensions and more heart. A little pass last week. I want to lead with my heart, follow with my mind, and trust my body to have my back. I've been visualizing my ribcage leading the Team BODY around the course and not my feet. It makes me stretch my obliques and open up my solar plexus in a way that encourages optimal oxygen delivery to my heart and lungs. My water intake has been good but can be better. And this week, I start in the garden. Yes to Spring! Let's cultivate and revel proudly in the fruits of our labour, shall we?

2010: The Year of the Bikini

Oh my God Oh My God Oh My God Oh My GAWWWWW! Something broke. I don't know what it is! But it is broken. Is it my waist line? Ha Almost. Is it my will? I feel like I am getting warmer. let me explain the myriad calls to the Lord: I want to eat everything right now all the time. Since like, going on 2 weeks. Writing to you guys, my neglected fittins, will hopefully remind me that I must stay the course. Today though, I ate lots of Kale. also Gulf oysters on the half shell and 1 1/4 pound of crawfish. but no bread! :( I realized as I drove home and not out to the spot for a drink, that I am the only person standing in the way of me and getting this weight off. And quite frankly, I'm ready to move my ass around. Everything is so close, within my reach, so why won't I just grab it? Do I really want it? I am grabbing things i don't really want let alone need everyday.

I have 2 shows this weekend and one is a video shoot/show. I've assessed that I am nervous and therefore eating more, trying less. Which can be a good thing in context. But never before in my life have I been observant to my own self sabatoge, you know, with seeing eyes. I see my fail coming up around the corner but... I can see it so, I can yield to it and avoid the collision. Alot's been pouring in but not alot pouring out and I apologize, My Fittins. I plan on remedying that. Tis I, your queen of the Slo Go Boogie and if its one thing we know its that when we fight we win. I was almost out for the count but I am back. And I got my game face on. 2010:The Year of the Bikini is about to get a little hotter.