To Thine Own Self Be True

Bonjour Fittins and all my Chinese Followers out there. When I was in Los Angeles last week, Courtnie took me to a yoga class. The teacher said something that really stuck with me. Well, the first thing she mentioned was that in that class we were going for quality over quantity. I have blogged previously about that particular ratio and how it pertains to fitness, but still in all respect, true true. But the other thing that she mentioned was for us to make no judgments in our process, yet validate every moment of the experience. Moved, I have referenced that suggestion all week long and it has helped me to get through a couple of tough workouts, crucial internal debates with myself at the bar over whether or not I will have a drink, and emotionally debilitating days like yesterday, which I finally reserved as a mental health day. Yes, I gave myself a mental health day. I worked out first (I wasn't going Completely crazy) I had lunch and sample-adventures at Whole Foods just like the good old days, and I allowed myself to go there. You know, There. All the way to the place where it is dark and where Fear resides and sadness and anxiety. I hadn't been to that place in such a long time, but that is where I was and I did not deny it. In fact, I took my time there, did my business if you will, drove all the way home There, and once at home, finally went to sleep from mental and emotional exhaustion. While asleep, I had a dream. And in my dream I was back at Whole Foods, the place where my mind started to rummage around looking for this There place to sprawl out and spew. I was back There in my dream, in the exact place yet it was different. This time my aunt was there and she sweetly reminded me that I had a cupcake in the fridge waiting for me. Indeed, I did have a real cupcake waiting for me in my waken world and when I awoke, I went to the kitchen and ate the cupcake that I had been saving for 5 days now, and the spell was officially broken.

In becoming my best, striving for optimum and challenging myself, I have not always been truthful with myself. I haven't even lent an ear to myself so that I could be a good friend to myself and let myself vent to myself. But today I took the time and I listened and it was hard and painful in moments. I said some things I didn't really mean but needed to feel, and I heard some concerns that I had not fully validated but rather swept conveniently under my datebook to tend to later or will into non-existence..? My beloved Fittins (and Chinese followers), Allow your selves room to experience the Experience. Lend an ear to your self and be honest about your current and continue to be honest about your future. My mental health day showed me that I need to check in more mentally, to make sure my mental fitness is getting the adequate process that my physical now demands. My mental health day also reiterated that it is time for a cleanse. (one of the mental and physical things I have been sweeping around for a while now.) I am ready for it too. Who will join me? I think the 23rd is a perfect day; that's when school starts.